Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Foxy: More Memories

I was looking back at my old car and was remembering all the good old times and my first kiss stuck out, so here you go, Foxy and I at it again.

What is a first kiss? Hollywood would have us believe that it should be full of fireworks, love songs, and weak knees. But what we don’t see is the team of pyrotechnic specialists, cinematography directors, sound specialist, and costume designers. And just in case you can’t do it just right they can pull in a stunt double to do the deed. After seeing kiss, after kiss on the silver screen that makes all of us lean in a say, “ahhhh”, our perception of what a first kiss should be is shrouded in lights, camera, and action. We live in the real world and these expectations of grandiose gestures and perfect lighting have made a perfect first kiss a thing nigh unto impossible to achieve. Away from the magic of Hollywood, lets face it, first kisses are awkward.

My first kiss consisted of nothing that could have been made into a made for T.V. movie. If anything it was something that could have been a first take of a cheesy teen movie before they sent in the pros. The summer after I graduated high school I dated a boy that I had, in no uncertain terms had been, “crushing on hard” for three years. We had been going out for about a month before the “magical” night came. He invited me over to his friend’s house, which happened to be in a trailer park, to watch movies. An innocent enough beginning to a lazy summer night, one would think. I rolled on over to the house in my leprous red VW Fox. It was leprous because the paint was slowly chipping, exposing the steel underneath, like a leper whose body is slowly decomposing as he still lived. Well, the Fox fit right in as I parked in front of the double wide.

He met me at the door and gave me a hug, and the movie night proceeded.
Sitting on the couch, snuggling it up and holding hands is a bout as far is it ever went, but this night I could tell he had a plan. He would very slowly sneak nearer, and nearer and by the end of the night he had his arm around me and his head leaning on my. But this strategy took to a long time, and by the time he had gotten me right where he wanted me it was 11:45 and I had to scurry off home. I slowly and almost unwillingly untangled my self from his arms. I looked into his face saw the crest fallen look of frustration mixed shame for taking the whole night and still not have had done “it”. He walked me to my car and we hugged and said our good byes. But right when I was about to release form the embrace “it” happened. He closed his eyes took aim and, well, he missed. He did get a piece of it though, the out side 2/3 of my lips.

Before I had realized what had happened, I heard hoots and claps from behind the house. His friends were watching. I don’t know who was more embarrassed him or me. He took off after his friends leaving me to puzzle what had just happened. Did he mean to do that, or was it an accident? I sat in my car trying to figure out if that counted. Did it have to be premeditated to count, or could just be a happy lip bumping accident? My mind was running in circles by the time he got back.

I don’t know what he and friends did, perhaps a contractually high five, or butt slap( he was a football player after all). I don’t know what happened, but when he did show up again he just stood there looking rather pleased with him self. We said good night and I drove home still contemplating. Did have to be the whole lips or is part considered a legitimate kiss? Someone really should have written a handbook on that and passed it when I hit puberty, it would have helped clear up what was going on in my head at that time.
And that was it, my first kiss. No fireworks or “Such Great Heights” from the Postal Service playing in the background. No, they were only awkward teenage boys, a very confused girl, a trailer park and a car that was lucky to make it home. Come to think of it, that could make a great movie.

Saturday, October 17, 2009

Summer Time( Remembered)

As you might have seen I had a bit of car trouble a few months ago and Foxy has been retired. Fortunately I have a new vehicle, Pedro. He is a wee bit older but still has plenty at miles left on him.
Pedro and I had many adventures this summer here are a few to get you caught up with.

The first week I was home a job was presented to me that I couldn't pass up. Spend 4 week at my Grandparents place to work on their house. They live with my Aunt and Uncle and their two kids. With no extra space I could have slept on the couch for a month, or find my own space. I took the latter. I placed a futon pad in the back of Pedro, and made it home. It was like camping:falling asleep to the sound of the crickets and the chirping of the frogs, and some nights hoping that the cougars didn't eat me.

So I worked. I built stairs, and part of a deck. I pressure washed the house( beware of the exhaust it get hot! yikes),
and painted the front. I mowed the lawn, chopped down trees, and bushes. But the best part was swimming at Papa's swimming hole after all the work was done for the day. Leo(Papa) says that jumping in the river feels like resurrection morning, and I think I believe him.

Other than working, I spent time with my little sister, once even going to a Timber Festival( only in Oregon, right).

But like most I spent a most of my weekends at wedding receptions. In 7 week I went to 8 wedding receptions. If that doesn't make a single girl feel just a little bit lonely, I don't know what will.

The last wedding I went to was for my good friends Steve and Kristen in Salt Lake. In Salt Lake I went to a craft fair and drowned my singleness in pie. Ummm pie.

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Foxy: In Memorandum

My dear old car, was born Dec 1989 to German parents in California. She left her family but still kept her German heritage close to her heart for the rest of her life. She found a life in Logan Utah where she lived for quite some time. In 1990 she was living In Medford Oregon with a family that did not see her many talents. She looked for a way out of that situation but the way did not appear until 2002.

In 2002 a tragic accident happened where a Dodge truck was burnt alive in a pear farm. The cause is still unknown but some believe that spontaneous combustion was the cause of death. The family that lost this truck was so stricken by grief that she( Foxy) was given to the family as away to console them in their time of loss.

The Folsom home was a good home that lovingly took care of her.2002-2003 she left home for a foreign exchange to Sweden. During this Betty the Volvo from Sweden stayed with us, her sweet spirit was a welcome guest in the home but Foxy was still sorely missed. 2003 Foxy returned home but continued her wanderings around America.

She when to Seattle, Portland, Logan and Rexburg ID. During this time she began to feel her years, braking both axes and springing an embarrassing leak in her fuel line. But at the end her pump would be the thing that did her in. On the crossing from Rexburg to Portland the gas pumps broke and she could no longer get her self started. So on July 27 2009 she died a peaceful death on the quite streets of Portland. She will be sorely missed by many. She is survived by her owner, Jessica.

Instead of flowers, there is charity that will be accepting donations in her name, The "Jessica Needs a New Car" Foundation. Contact Jessica for more information about giving to this excellent cause. If you have any fond memories or stories about Foxy leave in the comments below.

This tattoo was found on her after her owner was gone for a year. We think was a show of rebelling,and an inward longing for affection.

Thursday, July 2, 2009

A Year Ago

A Year Ago
I was miserable,
Let me explain.

A year ago I was laying on a bed of sorts, a long platform, somewhat padded, that I shared with 6 other girls. I was just laying there on a Sunday afternoon, missing out on all the fun( sunsets, hiking, lounging, making fiends with a gay etc...) and silently cursing the name of Sara( love you Sara). My knee hurt, hurt being short for humbling, unforgivable, writhing( ok, it's not a "R" but neither is writing and the 3 "R's" people got away with it, so why can't I), torment. I was miserable. But as luck would have it all I needed was sleep and dear friends to help me though it. The days got better. The pain subsided and and the scab healed over. Now all there is left is a scar. A big, red bumpy scar that my sister tells me to cover up. But I don't, I'm kinda proud of that scar on my knee. It's a reminder that a year ago I was miserable, but only for a day.

A year ago my heart was torn.
Fiends that I loved left me. No longer would we be roommates, or neighbors, but only long distant pen pals. But new friends came and the tear in my hear scabbed over and fell off( kinda a icky image, sorry) But there it is, the scar. That one isn't as noticeable and no-one asks to hear that story. But it's there and I'm still proud of it. I didn't get dragged under a scooter to get it, it was much more gentle than that. Each day I let others hold my heart a little bit more till they held it together, and I was glad to let it happen. Then one by one they left, and my heart couldn't keep itself together by its self, and it fell apart. I'm all put back together now and happy. But I still think sometimes when my heart was not my own and how good it felt to let it go.

Scars are just memories. At times they are fresh, and like memories they fade till you don't think about them anymore. No longer are they associated with pain, we forget that, all we have are the "remember the whens'", and " long agos'".

A Year Ago.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

On a Twin Once Again

While I was in Taiwan I had for myself a very nice twin bed. Bed being a loose translation of hard plank of wood with a small layer of padding on top. But after a few months of waking up not feeling one side of my body or the other, I got used to it, and even enjoyed it. Back in the states I was amazed at the luxury of my very own Full sized bed. I could lay on my side and still feel my arms when I woke up! I felt spoiled with comforters and a pillows and sheets that smelled like dryer sheets. But What did I give up to receive such splendor? The children with slanting eyes and wide smiles, friends a few footsteps away, the scoot scoot a toot, Taiwan. Now that my life has put me back on a twin I found that while I gave up some square footage of sleepy time luxury I have gained once again. They are not the same as before, but I still think it was a good trade. I have roommates, a curfew, classes that enlighten me, long hours in the library, and tired eyes. I have papers and quizzes and labs. I get snow in April, and 60 mile an hour winds in May.I get Rock Hard Abs class with Sara, to use my printer again, books and bags and sharpened pencils and bubble sheets and the Testing Center. I had to choose between 12 more square feet and all of that,I think I go the better deal. I'll take the twin any day.

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

The Journey not the Destination

I always wind up at home. No matter where the road I'm running bends or stop, all my roads lead home.
So the final destination is always the same but the journey differs each day.

The way we look at the world changes, and the world changes right along with it. Like a very intelligent man once said, " you can't step in the same river twice"(or was that Pocahontas?). Never once has a man opened his eyes to the same day twice( with the exception being Bill Murray in "Groundhogs Day"). I have started to see that some believe that they do. How can you judge and find one day to be the same as the last? Our daily actives might become menial, and repetative but our eyes have a capability to see even the slightest variation in the most similar of actives. Then we should not become bogged down with drudgery at the end of the day at where we end up( which for the majority of us is a very nice bed), but what we have done, the small things that might have enlightened even the most dreary of days. If from birth to death is journey each of us are taking, and each person on this earth is unique, then the roads across this moral coil are as infinite and innumerable as the stars in the heavens. So to those who are forgetting that each day you open you eyes is a gift so individualized it would be the envy of any personal shopper, open your eyes and see that your journey is what you make it.
Who wants a traveling companion that is forever reminding you of the miles to go, or that thinks the landscape never differs? We all know where we end up, it's how we get there that matters.

Tuesday, March 31, 2009


I know that are some that find playlists on blogs annoying, I might have been one of them at one time. But I have decided that since I post what I'm doing/ thinking, I'm going to start posting what I'm listening to while I'm doing/thinking all of those things.
Enjoy it or turn it off, it's just that easy.

Friday, March 13, 2009

Thursday, March 12, 2009

I am NOT a gun Nazi!

There has been a roomer being passed around the singles ward that I am a gun Nazi. I guess this started because I found out that one of the boys in the ward caries a gun on his person all the time. When I saw that he was wearing one on his ankle when we were playing kick ball for FHE, I just thought that was excessive. Why?! I have gotten a few answers some being "But what if..." Really come on... every day, all the time, ridiculous. I am not going to say that he shouldn't or ban all guns etc... But there is a a time and a place for concealed weapons to be worn. Thats all I'm saying.
So to prove that I am not a gun nazi here are some pictures of me with gun, firing guns, and having a good time, in an approbate place, and time.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Jessie's Cake Face

It is not a surprise to anyone that I love to make cakes. I have made a few beauties in my day but this one out dose them all. In Relief Society we were talking about FHE the next and this boy Jessie's Birthday. I guess he wanted a cake made to look like his body, but I said it would be fun just to do his head. And that just what I did. A face cake, I should start selling these things I'd make a killing. But I had such a good time making it, if you have a birthday and want a face cake, call me up.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Paint Balling

This weekend a group of highly spiritual young adults got together to engage in uplifting and bonding games. Oh, who am I kidding, we shot at each-other any way we could, and cheated and lied our way to victory. We spilt into teams and hid in approbate places in order to be able to crush the other team in to the ground. I curled up in a ball behind a fallen log biding my time to be able to fire a killing shot. But unfortunately the one time I rose my little head to see what I should shoot, I got hit right in my trigger finger. Even though if this had been real I could have continued on ward to victory but, I was shot so I had to raise the white flag and cower off the field till the rest of my team was killed. I would like to say that after that disappointment I was a amazing leader and we were victorious after that but, I can't. For the most part I got hit soon after we started and wasn't a big help to my team. But what can I say other than I still had fun and I got to shoot a gun of shorts.

Brandon: we attacked and painted his face pink and yellow, I think he liked it.

Kurt: I wouldn't dare to paint him, scary!

ME: I look at top of it but I didn't know what was going on.

Rebekah: She attacked me after I had already gotten hit and was walking off the field and pegged me in the face, shows what a good sister she is.

Friday, March 6, 2009

The GW

During this time of economic unrest, and my own time of unemployment, many, including myself have been discount shopping. I have in the last few months been frequenting the GW( Goodwill). Once you get over the smell of decay that all GW's have, it can be a fun experience. I can almost think of myself of a modern day Andie Walsh in Pretty in Pink. But any way for the most part I don't ever find any thing, but today I found a gem. I left the GW with my purchases, which was exciting, but not the gem I was most excited about. The gem was a car parked out front that made my day. I don't know how to describe it, so I'll let the pictures do all the talking, but this thing was AWESOME!

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Now what the heck have you been doing since you got back?

I get this question a lot. And other than trying to find a job not much. SO here it goes.
Since the job Hunt hasn't been going well, I've been filling my time and my need for cash with babysitting. Mostly these cuties. I did get to babysit 8 kids at once I felt I was back in Taiwan. But I really enjoy it. I think that it's one of the main reasons I don't miss Taiwan as much as some others. I think being a teacher this last year has help me learn that yes, kids lie and try to get away with stuff. And it has also helped me to call them on it and not to be afraid to punish kids that aren't my own. I lay the hammer down, sort of.

Visiting Friends
Other going on the long road trip to Utah and Ohio, I've been sticking closer to home.
Shannon came by on her 2 week road trip to DC. It was good to see her and catch up. Then about a week after I got back from Ohio I set out to vist Megan in Seattle.

We had a blast going sledding, getting a drink with zen zu in china town( with Taiwan signage),
and hot yoga. Well I almost passed out doing the hot yoga, but I felt really good after I felt like I didn't have to trow up any more. We also took a mini road trip up to Forks WA. Well its a small town and I didn't see any vampires, but I did see a freakn' awesome car. I don't know what it was but sure was speedy.
House Work
Since I kinda am just bumming around my parents house, I help were I can. I make dinner, pull weeds, walk the dog, clean the house, and my favorite kind of work, destruction. We have a willow that needed to be tamed. And I tamed it good. Don't worry I don't believe in arborcide, it will grow back. But I did have fun with that saw-all though.

Church Stuff
The thing that has been filling my days mostly is church. BE it atucual church, Firesides, FHE, Temple Trips , or institute I go to it all and am really enjoying going to institute for the first time ever. Yesterday we had a FHE where we played Rock Band. I Rocked it, and Bishopric even joined in. We had a blast.